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In an industry dulled by uniformity, chlothegod is a crisp gust of wind. The multi-faceted musician is abrasively authentic, the embodiment of the unconditional belief that life can be good and love can be at the core of it all. The North Carolina-native is soaring through millions of streams and rising levels of fame, yet remains centered on her dharma and the “why” of it all. From queer identity to finding liberation within trauma, she is here to set ablaze all that is stagnant and antiquated, as only a true Aries would.

OnesToWatch had the pleasure of sitting down with chlothegod in a momentary pause while traveling for her debut headline tour to explore the ins and outs of her inner world and how she’s finally arrived home to herself.

OnesToWatch: As someone who seems to be so at home within themselves, how do you maintain grounding when you're bopping through time zones?

chlothegod: It's actually really difficult. I'm not a master at it yet; I'm not even close to understanding it. I try to maintain my happy practices. I love to call my friends. I love to speak to my family. I journal in the morning. I take a walk. I try to get my face outside, into the sun. The US tour was eight weeks long, and it was hard because you get in, you do the show with so much energy, then you get in the sprinter van, you fall asleep for three hours, and you wake up in a new place. There's no regulation. Life is not always structured or organized, and I've made it through those days. But it's really hard. We definitely need some way to help artists regulate. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, and I'm sure there's organizations that cater to musicians' mental health or just traveling artists' mental health in general. I need to look into that because it's rough on the road.

I'm friends with musicians, I love having a community of women who work in the same field as me because we get to share tips and tricks. A lot of us have been talking about how we think that even the desire to be a musician is typically birthed from a little bit of chaos, pain, or uncertainty. So I do think that maybe we're the kind of kooks who are a little bit more equipped for it. I’m in pursuit of peace and in pursuit of harmony, balance in my life. It all seems chaotic and crazy, but, really, that's just a vehicle that I hope will drive me to a constant.

You seem to be very aware of what your medicine is and good at surrendering to the full spectrum of yourself. I think that's so important for us to witness, particularly in a Black woman, because we're typically confined to being one-dimensional, and you are all of yourself all the time. What did that inner journey look like for you?

That’s a great question, you're so thoughtful. I think that I used to be really performative. It felt big, and it felt close to the energy that I have in this moment, but I was still being guarded because I wasn't being honest. I had a lot of different phases and eras of my life where I was often the center of attention in a specific way. I was a cheerleader, class clown, I played sports in middle school, I did lacrosse. I found a way to be centered, but it was really out of a deep, deep need to center myself, to understand myself, to value myself, to champion myself. I think that if you would ask someone from my high school or from my past, they would say I’ve always been like this. I think my truth is, I've always wanted to. I've always wanted to be comfortable and confident and honest, I've always wanted to feel like I deserve to take up space. I wanted to articulate my feelings clearly and not be misunderstood. I tried my best when I was younger. But as you said, there's not a lot of Black girls, Black women, Black people, queer people who are different and unique and feel comfortable to be those things. I feel responsible now to continue, especially now that I've been awarded the platform to be loud about it. I have an unwavering dedication to being odd. They have hot girl summer, I’m hitting odd girl autumn.

You being as loud as you are gives permission for those who see themselves in you to do the same. Who was that for you? 

I was listening to Fefe Dobson, Paramore, Lauryn Hill. Rihanna, of course. Gorillaz was crazy and weird, animation as an act was so strange to me. But if I'm being really honest, outside of the music that I was taking in, which was really at the hands of my parents, so shout out to them because they were like, "You're gonna need something to guide you," I feel like angels were distributed to me at different times in my life. My fourth-grade teacher, Christy Pettit, was an angel. She was odd. She was loud as shit from Long Island, a curly-haired, wild Italian. I just remember all the windows would be open in the classroom. We could sit on the floor. We could be anything, say anything. We didn't have to raise our hands. I was like, "Oh my god." If you choose to walk on your destined path, you will be so vibrant in any space. I was very affected by her at, like, eight years old. Those micro moments continued to happen to me where I would meet somebody even in passing, and I would be absolutely enamored with their fearlessness. Especially with women, it's so hard to be loud and proud. It's so hard to be yourself. I was always inspired by a woman who came into my life and were like, "Here the fuck I am." So I 100% took that on and was like, "Here the fuck I am."

I wish we could all contact the grade school teachers who impacted our identities, honestly.

I'm actually friends with Christy Pettit, I used to nanny for her before I became a singer. Her son was born, and I basically lived with him. She's just incredible. I think it's important, and it’s not always accessible, but we should keep in contact with the people who have inspired us and the people who've moved us. They should know that they've inspired and moved us. People are so weird these days about what inspires them, everyone is like "Everything is a reference of a reference." But that is what life is about. We are supposed to cycle through inspiration and take it and make it our own. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving credit where credit is due.

You’re massive on social media. Is there any pressure that accompanies going viral or needing to maintain the internet’s attention in adjacency to the purity of your art?

I don't think I've gone viral, have I? I have friends who have like, billions of streams, so my reference point is a little different than where I am. But what I know is it's not my responsibility to feel pressure. I am honored that I have a gift, and I'm honored that people care. It's the way that I am in service to myself and in service to other people. I hope that people like it, I always have. But it's never been a driving force because it's part of my duty. I hate when someone's like, "I don't owe you anything." I don't think that's true or healthy. I think that we do owe each other space, love, understanding, and compassion. I didn't always have that growing up, not within myself, within my family, or within my community. But once it was introduced to me, I knew that it was something that I was going to maintain. When I feel comfortable to be honest and you feel comfortable to be honest, that inspires other people to be honest and passionate and loving and giving. I think that makes the world a better place. I'm in pursuit of that. I don't think about anything else.

I mean, it would be cool, I hope enough people listen. I think if you drive down a street long enough, you’ll reach the destination, but I don't think about it. I'm enjoying the ride.

That’s an incredibly healthy mindset. You’re not one to filter or dilute yourself, especially not politically. A lot of artists, particularly right now, seem to be scared of that. Why aren’t you?

I don't know why I don't feel afraid. I think it's probably because I come from really strong people. My dad was a soldier, and my mother is a soldier in her own right. My dad comes from a soldier, and my mom comes from a mother that's strong in her own right. I'm an amalgamation of a really strong combination of fighters, poets, and leaders. I think it would be a disservice to my family if I weren't to continue our tradition. I also don't think that you can be punished for doing the right thing. I think that people who are weak act like their power is their strength, and I don't think that's true. I think sometimes, when someone's trying to silence or hurt you, it means you're actually the powerful person. I have seen a lot of examples of people being extremely powerful and pushed to the side, and it does not stop their power. I don't wanna go to jail or anything, I want to continue to live my life and help the people around me, but I won't ever shut down. I'm not bigger than the program. I believe in the liberation of people. I think that we should be living in freedom with health and access to resources. I don't think that’s a crazy concept, and nobody else that I'm around ever thinks that it's crazy. I don't feel afraid because I'm surrounded by mirrors of people who agree. I think that we are capable of having a really, really, safe and strong world. I don't feel fear about that.

‘I don't know why I don’t feel afraid’ is a beautiful sentiment.

Confusion is what separates us. Fear is what separates us. But I think if we can be brave and push those things to the side, you will run into so many people who are like, "Yeah. I think the same thing." I think in numbers, we're so strong. I see a large scale of people who think and feel and breathe the same as me. I won't stop talking about the things that I believe in.

"I Feel Different Every Day" has taken on a legacy of its own. Walk me through how this song came to be.

The first seed was planted a few years ago when I was having a conversation with my uncle. Adam is his name, he’s a retired ballet dancer and left home when he was young to go to art school. After he retired at 27, he became a therapist in DC. I always seek him for advice because he's creative, he's strong, he's powerful, but he's calm and collected. He's queer, and he had one career and then picked up another one. He's really caring. So I was running into some struggles in my life where I had just moved to LA, I put out Nearly Straight, and I was proud of “Camille” doing really well online. I open for Lola. I just felt like, "Okay. I'm moving."

I was grateful, but I really underneath it was like, "I want so much more." And I felt very guilty about that. I was having a conversation with my uncle, and he was, like, "Are you happy?" I was, like, "You know, I feel very different every day. I feel proud, then I feel I'm not where I wanna be. I feel late, and then I feel early. I feel different every day." He was like, "You never need to feel guilty about that." I just remember that conversation holding me really tightly as I continued on the year, and I decided that that was the thing I wanted to say. I'm from a small place, and I don't see my family that much anymore. Things are very different, and I can feel them changing and becoming more different. I feel that every day. So it came from just acknowledging that that's okay and that that's real. I miss my family. I miss where I come from.

I am proud of moving on. I'm proud of being better than I was before, and still I feel differently all the time. I just wanted people to know that that's okay. I don't want to live in a world where we're so hard on ourselves every day.

That bleeds perfectly into the last question I have, which is, if you were to speak to little you, what do you think they would find most surreal about the life you live right now?

Oh, wow. I think that little girl would be very pleased to know that she was right. I spent a lot of my youth fighting people around me, trying to prove something that I never doubted. I never ever questioned who I want to be or who I am. I got a little bit off track for several years where I was like, ‘Maybe everybody else is right, actually, I don't know what I'm talking about.’ That young girl would be overjoyed to know that she was right all along. I love that question, thank you for asking that.

It's a question we need to come home to as often as we can because we should only live a life that is centered on impressing little us.

Oh my god. Yes. My journal is over there; that’s my prompt for today.